Hindsight

Well since I've been mentally prepared to leave Missoula for months now and I actually only have 5 days left until the exodus, I'm sort of having one of those I-thought-I-was-ready-but-I'm-really-not moments....the final countdown. And no, I'm not talking about heading to Venus with a killer synth solo. People to say goodbye to, projects to wrap up, tattoos to squeeze in, thank you cards to make to the people who have given me opportunity upon opportunity. What would I have done without Edge of the World, American Made, The Badlander, and Le Kickball? I owe these people my utmost gratitude.

What I've overlooked the most and taken for granted in the moving away tunnel vision are all the people who surround me on a daily (well since I've been a shut-in it's probably more like bi-weekly) basis. Friends, mutual friends, and acquaintances. Sure, a bunch of us have moved. But we wouldn't be the people we are today without our times together. I can honestly say I'm a better person for knowing each and every one of you.

And yes, it is a blessing in disguise that we are leaving our nest, because then we can have a fresh and honest perspective of our respective cities that our friends reside in. No more bullshit travel guides for us.

I'm not an emotional person on the outside. You all know my embarassing phobia of cuddling, heart-to-hearting and confrontation but typing is a much better way to get your feelings out, especially when this is the week you have to say goodbye to everything you've ever known for the past 3 years. I'm not good with goodbyes. My mascara will be perpetually running this week.

This is a weird feeling. I can't wait to start my new existance in a new city, but will never forget where I came from.

I'm still Jenny from the block.