Ben's End Of The Year (Part 1)

Christ, is it really time for the end of the year wrap up already? I mean, on the one hand, thank god, because it means this year is nearly over. On the other, I feel as though a myriad of events and dramas have managed to get in the way of enjoying that much about this year, including music. Even as I write that, though, I can't escape the fact that what I've just written isn't exactly true -- it just feels like it is at moments. That's a bit backwards, I know. It's just part of the way the brain can sometimes stubbornly (it seems) get odd, particular facts wrong -- like those words that you always, always misspell; or singing the wrong lyrics to a song because it's how you first heard them.

Anyhow, since everyone else is beginning to weigh in on this, I thought I'd take my turn. I'm still finalizing my top ten, so before I get to that, I present the following miscellaneous bullshit:

1. Best 12-Inch Single That Should Have Been A Precursor To A Full-Length, But Said Full-Length Did Not Materialize:
Day 'N' Night B/W Dat New New
by Kid Cudi
Seriously... those two tracks are the fucking jam, but where's the rest? Gimme gimme gimme.

2. Worst Mainstream Single And Worst Music Video, Which It Will Be Good To Forget About Entirely:
"4 Minutes"
by Madonna
How many crimes against humanity does this video commit? You be the judge:


3. Track That Was Pretty Decent But Totally Should Have Been Better, Because It Definitely Fell A Bit Short Of Being The Jam:
"Run (I'm A Natural Disaster)"
by Gnarls Barkley
So close, and yet...

4. Album That I Really Should Get Around To Listening To Before The Year Closes Out:
Best Pyramid
by These New Puritans
Literally haven't heard a single second of this, but y'all seem to like it a bunch.

5. Album I've Simply Got To Say Something About:
Feed The Animals
by Girl Talk
The more I listen to this, the more problems I find. It's got moments where it's strange combinations are truly brilliant, but if I start analyzing it with any depth, the holes become apparent. Sometimes the schizophrenia just isn't that smooth -- one section goes to the next often just on the basis of matched BPMs but with no other genuine connecting thread. Perhaps, it's just having heard it so much that it's easier to pick apart the flaws, and one can certainly make the argument that it's rarely a good idea to delve too deeply into a dance record. All I know is that it's not getting anywhere near my top picks of the year.

6. Album That, Upon It's Release In Just A Few Days, Will (Hopefully) Be The Last Straw Before We Collectively Turn Against Auto-Tuned Vocals:
808s And Heartbreak
by Kanye West
Seriously, can we be done with this trend? Yes, every once in awhile it can be cool, but for the love of fuck, knock that shit off already.

7. Favorite Vinyl Re-Issue Of The Year:
(Tie)
Signals, Calls, And Marches
by Mission Of Burma
&
Black Star
by Mos Def & Talib Kweli
I kept trying to work out a joke about the Mission Of Burma re-issue, some play on "That's when I reach for my revolver," but I couldn't make it work. I kept writing down "That's when I reach for my revolving credit line" and then staring at it and thinking "That's definitely not funny, but there should be some play on this concept that is funny." You know what's worse than just not being able to put a joke together that your brain, against all reason, believes should really work? Wasting all this space talking about it just because I don't really feel like writing anything about either of these fucking amazing records.

8. Artist Who, In Theory, Should Have Been Awesome, But Wasn't Actually Even A Little Awesome After All:
Hercules And Love Affair
What a suckfest.

9. Artist I'd Be Super Pleased To Have Disappear In 2009:
(Tie)
Fleet Foxes
&
Vampire Weekend
Double suckfest.

10. Artist I Hated Last Year, Then Began To Like This Year, And Am Now Back To Not Giving A Shit About:
M.I.A.
I hear her dad is a Onitsuka Tiger. What's that? Those are shoes, you say? Hmmm.... then what the hell kind of tiger is her dad?