Oh, It's Christmas...? (Assorted Thoughts)

I'm sitting at Lonney's brother's house, listening to Clinic, and enjoying some time to myself. Actually, I want to be driving to the gas station that I can see from the deck to get cigarettes because I'm addicted, but I can't find the car keys and it's bloody cold. So here I am. Let's get started.

(Hold that thought. I remembered that it's not as bloody cold as it has been, so I braved the block and a half, got some Chex Mix, and smoked a cigarette. Now I'm ready. Also, now I'm listening to No Kids.)

Billings is a bizarre place. Here are some fun facts:

- There are as many churches as there are casinos. This basically means that there are a shit ton of both.

-  It takes at least three days to get anywhere in town.

-  There are indeed 70,000 shitty little businesses and I'm convinced that the residents of this... place... exist only to drive around and patronize these businesses.

-  The only people who walk in Billings are homeless and/or children.

-  Wells Fargo is a major donor to the Catholic high school.

-  Billings has a dress code. If you have an age and gender, there is a very specific manor in which it is socially acceptable for you to appear.

(*Actual factual material may be, in fact, fictitious.)

Last week was epic. The highlights include a couple nights of spin the bottle, and an underwear party. Ridiculous? Yes. Ridiculously fun? Hell yes. Though there were negative repercussions, namely that the drastic increase in the amount of making out in my life made me feel like a horny teenager. Spin the bottle skews logic. Now, when I see someone attractive I immediately want to start making out with them. This happens everywhere, restaurants, gas stations, Sherwin Williams. Everywhere.

Which leads me to my next topic: my fourteen month drought is officially over. Or rather, has been broken, as I'm sure that I will very soon find myself celibate again. Nonetheless, it's big news in my life.

And for one last bit of relevant info, for those of you who do not know, I was offered a position at The Pussy Shop, which I accepted. (Side note for O-Face and Smash: Blossom got adopted. And then she had a hernia, but she's okay.)

Happy Holidays kids. I miss you all. Here are a couple treats for you from No Kids.

No Kids - Great Escape
No Kids - Four Freshmen Locked Out As The Sun Goes Down