"Every now and then, I become aware of it, and think, (gesturing toward left breast) 'Oh yeah; that's the hole where I keep my misery.'" -Ben Rounder (sic)
"You know, my heart is like a really quiet third roommate. It doesn't talk, but it eats all my food and likes the Nintendo, and every now and then it's a pain in the ass."
-Ben Rounder (sic)
"I'm a love agnostic, which is to say: I can't prove that it exists and neither can you. I mean, I'm not going to say there isn't love, or that there is love, and I'm not going to tell you how you should feel about it, but I am going to go about my life as if there isn't, and not worry about it too much."
-Ben Rounder (sic)
"We haven't kissed."
"Yeah, we have."
"What? No."
"Yeah. Spin the Bottle?"
"OH MY GOD! We have! We've like, really kissed! (Pause) You know, I didn't really like the whole 'tripod' kissing idea."
-Pete Tolton and I
"How is an Iraqi like a large pizza?"
-Random guy at the Ox last night (I didn't hear the end of the joke.)
3 comments:
We may never know the original answer to the joke, but we can make like gold-miners and speculate. I offer the following three possibilities:
The military could shoot at either one without much fear of recrimination.
(or)
They would both use precious, precious oil -- though in varying amounts -- to arrive at my door.
(or)
The opposing factions in the Iraqi's homeland are locked in civil war, which is like the opposing factions in the living room, where the pizza happens to be, who will wrestle over who gets the last piece. Which is why we should have ordered an extra-large.
After the GIs are done with either, the scraps are devoured by wild dogs?
(I had a couple other suggestions, but even I couldn't keep them up in good conscience.)
Ben says the darndest things! Then again, you would too if you had no education...
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