2008-08-26

This Is Why I Hate...


Disclaimer: This entry may be more suitably posted on a personal blog, as opposed to this forum, and for that I apologize. However, I think there is some obvious relevance in light of recent events, etc...

Oh, Hate. What drama you cause. And the funny thing is that I don't actually hate anyone, or anything, which is not due to the fact that my mother used to tell me that, "hate is a very strong word." Rather, my stifled range of emotion doesn't extend into the extremes so far as hate (or elation, or anger.) Hate is a very strong word, and legitimate hate is a terrible thing.

And then there's Hating. "Venting", as some have called it. My taste for it waxes and wanes, and is generally waning. It seems to have been proposed that I/we/the world am not so self-aware to know the product of my actions, or utter lack thereof. My intention in starting this blog was to create a forum for a very small group of people with the goal of keeping in touch when several of its contributors left for greener pastures, and yes, for venting. At this point I can only speak for myself: I believe my hating to never have been directly malicious, and I think that there are people who have an exaggerated interpretation of my words. I believe that everything said has been in good humor, and I have faith that the original contributors know this. They are the only people for whom I was ever writing. I want no larger audience. Yes, I believe I was hasty in extending invitations to other contributors.

And this is why I hate: I hate because I miss my friends. I hate because it's how I cope. I hate because it's better than fucking apathy. I hate because I'd rather my friends be upset at me for hating than be so fucking apathetic about everything. I hate because I'm not going to turn a blind eye. I hate because I'm human.

2 comments:

smash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
O-Face said...

i posted that message because it was what i was feeling at the time. I'm surrounded by hate because i feel it and everyone else feels it too. I'm just sick of feeling nothing but negativity all the goddamn time. I never pointed fingers and never said nobody could continue hating. From what I saw some of the things posted did not appear to be in good humor. And I know you guys pretty well. I feel like you don't think I understand. And I feel like maybe I spoiled the blog for it's "original" contributors. Sorry I didn't realize there are rules. Why are we typing and not talking on the phone? call me.