Let me preface this by saying that I know you're rocking that whole masculine vibe. I get that. You should know that I am, too, except that I have the penis to back it up.
The purpose of this letter is to ask that you refrain, in the future, from attempting to undermine my knowledge regarding all things home improvement and construction. You may have forgotten that I spent a healthy ten years helping my father improve the structural, plumbing, heating, and electrical features of two separate houses. Not to mention the three additional years of learning spent assisting two designers on numerous design and carpentry projects. And while I don't discount any experience you may have in these fields, I know my shit.
It may be a shortcoming of my own, but when you try to tell me that a load bearing beam could be replaced with ease because it is a simple 4" x 4" post, I'm not going to be able to correct you in an accommodating manner. Firstly, replacing a load bearing ceiling beam is never easy. Secondly, there is not a brain dead, redneck, asshole of a contractor in this world who would use a simple fencing post as a critically important structural support. Thirdly, when I inform you that a two foot section of the existing 4" x 8" beam has rotted due to the consistent water leak that has been ignored for God knows how long, please don't suggest patching the interior leak as a long term solution. Especially when said beam is directly above the primary seating area. I don't want to die quite yet. How about instead, when I suggest that the real issue to address is the leak on the roof and replacing the beam, you nod in consent? That would be great.
Thank you for your time and understanding.
Graciously yours,
Lil Bob Vila
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