why people don't uproot themselves.

So I'm in Chicago finally, and I realized, as I was trying to set up an internet connection in my apartment and find a local bank, why people stay where they are, why they just give in to the mundane routine of their everyday lives where ever they are.....it takes so much motivation to put up with the bullshit of uprooting yourself.  It takes so much desire for change that only those who really want it will ever get out of their safe little worlds and move on.

I just loaded everything I owned onto a rented truck, drove 1600 miles across the country to Chicago and moved into a new apartment I found over the internet.  Now I have to get a new job, or two, find a bank, find new places to hang out and some new friends.  I have to get a new driver's license and new car insurance.  Get a new library card and find a new place to rent movies, hopefully its not blockbuster.

Everything I took for granted in Missoula is gone, the good with the bad.   I guess the bad was bad enough to motivate me to leave.  That says a lot.  I mean a year ago things were on the path to greatness, everything in Missoula was chugging along so nicely.  I thought I could conquer the world, with the help of my friends.  Then the drugs, egos, sexual politics and such ruined everything.  But still most people would sit back and just try to reconfigure how to go about living in Missoula.  Changing bars and sifting through your friends is much easier than leaving to go across the country to fix things.  Thats  why most of the people we know will never leave.

Never.  That;s right.  Most people just don't want to go through the trenches to change things.  It takes a lot out of you.  I'm exhausted already, and I haven't even found a job yet.  But I am happy.  With one exception.  There are about ten people I miss dearly.  I want them here with me right now.  

But at least I know these people that I hold close have the strength to change.  To move on to better things.  I think that is what solidified our little circle of friends.  Not bitching or haterade.  But the desire for more and the courage to change.  

Cause moving sucks.  But what is worse is just staying where you are, hoping things will just fix themselves. 

I know I will see all of you soon that are my dear friends, and the rest of those suckers will continue to wallow in their weakness and apathy.

love,

j/m