There are a dozen or so streets in Missoula that, when on foot, I avoid. It's true that some of them I avoid because of negative associations, e.g.: on that street corner, I got in a near-apocalyptic fight with one of my best friends; the duration of My Year From Hell was spent living in two separate apartments on this street; on that bench, after What's-His-Face broke up with me, I called a friend to come pick me up because I was crying so hard I threw up; I owe the owner of the establishment on that street $140, and don't plan on paying it; I don't go to Bernice's nearly as much as I used to, because I lost it in the divorce; etc.
But a lot of them I avoid because I can't handle the flood of positive memories. I can't walk down 1st anymore because I've spent so much time at that one house and while some of those memories I'd rather not hold on to, there are a million more I wouldn't trade for the world. Spruce is hard for me. 5th is nearly impossible: Erica's and my old apartment (the house of a thousand laughs), Melissa's old apartment, Big Dipper (Oh! the amazing things that have happened while getting ice cream!), and What's-His-Face's apartment are constituents of one of the best summers of my life, and thus thereby 5th is tantamount to a gauntlet.
And it's not that those memories are what make me sad. I love those memories. What's breaks my heart is that the circumstances and people that made those memories possible are no longer. The people have moved, we're not friends anymore, etc.
That's what makes me sad.
That, I think, is why I don't go to the Complex anymore: not because I hate what it's become, but I because really miss what it used to be.
Anyway. The point of all of this is that the list of places I'm avoiding grows exponentially every day. Pretty soon, I'll have to move. Or, you know... Never leave my house.
5 comments:
"I'll have to move. Or, you know... Never leave my house."
Haven't I proved that it doesn't have to be an "or" situation? You can have both.
The problem with that argument being, of course, that I have to leave my house. You know: work, school... That shit.
Also, unlike you, I genuinely enjoy being outside (sometimes.)
On top of that, I would have serious issues with only seeing my friends (those people I still like) when they felt like stopping by. I'm a social creature.
AND I'm already sick of pizza and can't afford Chinese.
P.S. Interesting that you went with "proved" and not "proven."
Ouch.
Also, you're a grammar Nazi. Eric knows what I'm talking about.
if it makes you feel better im in the same boat. and am currently having both. i'll have my cake and eat it too, thankyouverymuch.
Post a Comment