Sadly I was a spectator and not a participant

Thousands of bike riders sans clothing during the Naked Ride last night in downtown Portland. The picture doesn't even do it justice. I felt bad taking more than one photo though so you're just going to have to imagine a sea of flesh and blinking lights and wheels and war paint.

Dios Mio!

ahem.
SO Dallas made me realize something...

(and this is a bit of a rant, but I consider it a healthy purging of feelings)

I'm not the only one who is going insane with boredom. No job, no friends, no money, no heat, and every day I wake up and wish it was tomorrow. And I've been doing this for two months.. I'm a prisoner in my own house, a microcosm of sleep and tea, and weed and wine, which would be fine if it wasn't just me all the time. It's just me in my head every goddamn day. I'm the annoying friend I can't avoid. Cabin fever is one that can't just be cured with more cowbell (at least I've still got that razor sharp wit, eh?). I think maybe I thought moving was going to fix everything. (Well to be fair I don't have any of my old problems...just a whole bunch of new ones.) Or maybe writing a blog including the few photos Ive taken in the last 2 months so that it looks like I'm living the big city life and I am out doing lots of exciting exciting things.

Did you guys see the Amityville Horror when Ryan Reynolds feels crappy when he's at home and then the second they leave he feels better? It's kind of like that, except with less wood splitting and six packs. But I digress.


Smash, bless her heart, works her ass off and and I do is sleep and curl my hair. We barely ever see eachother anymore. I've quite had enough of this, but getting a job has its share of hoops to jump through. I keep thinking that next week I'll be able to start working. But thats turned into two weeks. and then two turns into three.

If it wasn't for Tuna I might be out of my skull. I figure if I'm talking to an animal, it's better than talking to myself.


My only other friend here has thrown me under the bus and fed me to the wolves. After everything I've done for him and everything he preached to me it turns out I was worth nothing. Would a friend sell you out to make themselves look better? Would a friend rub your nose into something youve already apologized and admitted you fucked up about? And they told you not to worry about it? Fuck that. I don't deserve that.

So now I've got an extra murder city devils ticket I guess.

So FUCK IT. I'm going to paint and take walks and make new friends and even though I don't have any money I'm going to have A GOOD TIME. Because I'm sick of this, and sick of putting faith and trust into people who don't deserve to have me as a friend. Because I'm a GOOD PERSON. And I forgot that for a while.

Thanks for being my friends. Even though you are all far away and I can't hug anyone right now, I want everyone to know that I love all y'all.

And Dallas, I'm with you on this one. It won't be like this forever.

My Heart Belongs To PDX

Now that I've had some time to reflect, and have actually taken some photos, I wanted to share my wonderful world of Portland with you all.

I finally got to the zoo.

Dallas, that one's for you.


These two were unreal. It's crazy looking at an animal with a more distinct personality than some people I've met.

I know squirrels arent technically part of the zoo, but this one ran in front of us and then screamed. He was a keeper.


I grew some balls and tattooed myself. Shit sucked but the tattoo turned out great. I'll post a picture when it heals.


It was a practice round for tattooing my partner in crime, Justin.


Grandma polishing the rifle, something his sister drew for him.


He cooked me brunch to say thanks. Amazing.


Bakin' pies for dinner parties! Motherfucking Betty Crocker!


Cache's doppelganger on the left.

We all went to My Bloody Valentine in 3D afterwards. Its a fucking trip. Super cheesy flick but the 3D is totally b.a.n.a.n.a.s.

Speaking of Valentines Day...this is what I will be doing that night.


Top Ten Things I Love About Portland
1. Dinner parties
2. Good food everywhere. Missoula could take some notes.
3. Government aid system is amazing! Planned Parenthood gave me a years supply of the Pill plus about 40 condoms and 2 Plan B pills for FREE. And I qualify for Food Stamps so they give you almost $200 a month for food. Sometimes being unemployed for a bit isnt terrible. At least I know there's no way in hell I'll ever get knocked up and hungry.
4. There are about 8 bars that could be my regular bar.
5. The Mercury (weekly independent newspaper with a killer sense of humor)
6. Everytime I go out I always run into someone I know. Which is weird when you have never lived here.
7. Not having to pump my own gas. I've gotten used to it and it's kind of nice.
8. ART. EVERYWHERE.
9. MUSIC. EVERYWHERE.
10. Everyone I meet wants a tattoo. Thank Baby Jesus I'll be working at a shop soon.

Miss you guys. Hope you're all doing great in your respective cities.

Spin the bottle

I just want you guys to hear this. Since I can't remix things or make new music via my crappy ass old ass busted ass computer, I havent been able to contribute much on the music end. Right now you're probably thinking "how in the hell does she assume I havent been to Hipster Runoff like 10 times in the past week?" But anyway. It's fantastic.



Anyhow, I love the Kings of Leon (dirty suthern boys rock my world) and Lykke Li remixed this gem into a jam.
Kings of Leon-Knocked Up (Lykke Li vs. Rodeo Remix)

Also it should be duly noted that I have been hazy on the rules of spin the bottle until last night. I thought every individual had to actually make out. With their tongues. Am I alone in this logic? But I've also never played it, and thats probably why.

So, my friends...there is a first time for everything. At Kelsey Lundgren's birthday party with 15 other people including Smash and Cory (frmr msla) we had ourselves a great time. I think when Kelsey announced it was going to happen everyone scoffed at the idea, but imagine her throwing an empty tequila bottle on the floor, balls deep into her birthday party, and I doubt you would have said no either. It's a surefire icebreaker, and I daresay I didn't expect to have such a good time. Smash had the dumb luck of getting picked about 18 times, to my dos.

Thanksgiving was weird, spent it at a small unsuccessful party which later evolved into visiting a bar called My Father's Place, where Joe Danger launched into the single most terrifying and disgusting rant I think I've heard to date. He also picked Cory up and threw him over his shoulders as they left.

Smash and I spent all day inside hanging up our precious wall decor until deciding to join Cory for a sans-family Thanksgiving. Her mom and brother kept calling every couple of hours to make sure she was doing ok, which, I can agree would get kind of annoying after a bit. But in my case, I didn't hear from my family all day (and when you have 2, that's weird) and it really bummed me out. I can't say I've been depressed since I've moved to Portland, but that day wasn't exactly glorious. At least going out forced me to try and snap out of it. Which I did, until I called my mom a few minutes ago and sort of expected her to ask me how my holiday went after I asked her about theirs. Nothing. I just cant help getting bummed out about that.

Enough about that. I'll shake it eventually. We have antlers and pictures all over our walls and our apartment is pretty much glorious. It looks like the inside of the ten-thousand silver dollar bar. Also went to a record swap today which was wonderful. 2 KISS records, some NKOTB, a vinyl set titled "Fiesta" with many mexican favorites for listening and dancing, and a Hank Williams Greatest hits among others. I'd say it was a success.

Oh, and remember that Unicorn tapestry we had in our living room? Well, I noticed for the first time today that it has balls. Big, ridiculous Unicorn balls. The fact that none of us has ever seen them before is baffling.

Now I can't stop looking at them.