A New Banner

Via hypebeast:

I thought I would post this link, seeing as how one of the photos is currently being used as our banner. Fashion photographer Sølve Sundsbø, who has shot for an endless list of esteemed clients, was selected to show at the reopening of the Parisian boutique and gallery Colette. His subject? Parrots. "Birds have a sartorial quality which is a pure form of fashion," says the lensman.

Agreed.

Y'all Skeet Skeet...

Tonight was my last appearance at Dance Night, and I can say earnestly, despite my personal feelings, that the night is not what it once was. Dead Hipster is dying.

The night has lost any soul that it once had. No one in the crowd dances with any liveliness. Instead, they shuffle around, jockeying for a prime photo position where they rotate through poses until they catch the photographer's eye. Then, before drifting back to their shuffle buddies, they queue up to have some free booze poured down their throat. I knew these things were happening, but I didn't know it had gotten that bad. It makes me sad, less because of what's actually going on, and more because I miss dancing my ass off with my friends. I miss coming home exhausted and waking up sore because I left everything on the floor. Notwithstanding, I am glad I went for the sole reason that I now know firsthand I'm not missing a thing.

Rest in peace, Dead Hipster.

family bizness

you know how people bronze their baby's shoes? I think it's creepy. But for whatever reason i think having my moccasins bronzed would be an nice update to the creepy over zealous parent vibe.

When i hit my midlife crisis this will happen.





you do the math.

This Is Why I Hate...

Disclaimer: This entry may be more suitably posted on a personal blog, as opposed to this forum, and for that I apologize. However, I think there is some obvious relevance in light of recent events, etc...

Oh, Hate. What drama you cause. And the funny thing is that I don't actually hate anyone, or anything, which is not due to the fact that my mother used to tell me that, "hate is a very strong word." Rather, my stifled range of emotion doesn't extend into the extremes so far as hate (or elation, or anger.) Hate is a very strong word, and legitimate hate is a terrible thing.

And then there's Hating. "Venting", as some have called it. My taste for it waxes and wanes, and is generally waning. It seems to have been proposed that I/we/the world am not so self-aware to know the product of my actions, or utter lack thereof. My intention in starting this blog was to create a forum for a very small group of people with the goal of keeping in touch when several of its contributors left for greener pastures, and yes, for venting. At this point I can only speak for myself: I believe my hating to never have been directly malicious, and I think that there are people who have an exaggerated interpretation of my words. I believe that everything said has been in good humor, and I have faith that the original contributors know this. They are the only people for whom I was ever writing. I want no larger audience. Yes, I believe I was hasty in extending invitations to other contributors.

And this is why I hate: I hate because I miss my friends. I hate because it's how I cope. I hate because it's better than fucking apathy. I hate because I'd rather my friends be upset at me for hating than be so fucking apathetic about everything. I hate because I'm not going to turn a blind eye. I hate because I'm human.

Cleanse yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

I never want to be your weekend lover, I never want to be some kind of friend. Its such a shame our friendship had to end.
Chad + Jenni 4 EVER. Junior high graduation dance.


I'm jealous.

P.s. I want you guys to know you should start growing your mustaches now.

montana makes BBC headlines for....

for guess what.

our meth problem and the shocking anti-drug campaign against it.

wow, what a great state to live in.  here i am watching headlines scroll on the dashboard....and the BBC ticker catches my eye.  really the English have any interest in Montana at all?  nope.  just that we've finally figured out a way to shock our kids off meth by showing disturbing television ads.  yeah.  way to go montana.  how about just not having one of the stupidest drug problems in the first place.  

but at least its not duster or whip its.  we'll leave that for another state.

An Open Letter To Elmer Fudd

Dear Elmer,

Who the fuck are you talking to?! You don't live in my world (because you are a fucking cartoon character), therefore through deductive reasoning I don't live in your's either. So when you turn in the frame and say, "Be very quiet I'm hunting rabbits," who the FUCK are you talking to you demented, sick fuck?!

-Eric

Can we organize a guerilla gig?

I want BVE to be able to play in an alley as loud as we fucking want. Can we make this happen? Jon Markles you're a genius.

my thoughts on last night....

if i have to hear tom catmull playing at the iron horse as i go to meet friends at the bar, everyone else should get to play their music outside at obnoxious levels.

why do the hippies get outdoor gigs for their jam bands and everyone else gets to play their parent rock outside for everyone to hear.

sure they deserve the chance to play at whatever outdoor civic events they want to.  sure they can fill downtown with their river city roots fest.

but why can't we have total fest on ryman street?  why can't black velvet elvis play in some alley as loud as they fucking want?

i'm sure some people would be just as disgusted with our friends playing outdoor gigs, as i am when i have to hear tom catmull on a pleasant friday evening.  

at least we could be a bit more democratic.

Whenever I Eat Tuna From The Can...

... I feel like a cat.

In Response to Perhaps the Most Enlightening Blog Posted

Yea I sing in the shower everyday (no shit). And yea, O-Face brings up a good point: what does hating get you? In response: nothing really. I still don't feel any better. I only do when I sing in the shower, and that's what counts. This blog is dying by the way, along with my care for this town. Let's just get happy, I suggest rolling dice.

PS. Check out the Lemon!!! blog, it'll be chock full of honest humor and it starts tomorrow. Damn you lemon!!! You party all the time.

PPS. Did you know that it was in the finalists for Eurovision 2008 from France, that shit's like American Idol only you have to write and perform your own songs and every EU country is represented. Thanks Poli-Sci 320!...and he's playing on a Nord synth (that's for Ben).

Ready for this Lion King reference?

The circle of life. That's what this has turned into. We are no better than said people 'we' have been 'blogging' about because this has not turned into something we want to share with eachother. It is things we discuss at large together anyways so what is the point of re-posting it? Beating a dead horse? Finding new and inventive ways to hurt people? How many strangers actually read this that will be enlightneed by this information? Tell you what. I'll give anyone a free BVE cd if they mention this blog. Bloggers not included.

I'm by no means saying i'm innocent. All of you know I have my problems with certain individuals, however, you all know these problems already. So what if people we know are dipshits? What do we really have to complain about? As of now, we all have a roof over our head, food to eat and jobs and friends. I feel like we are in 7th grade algebra class passing notes and drawing cruel pictures of classmates. And I'm not pointing fingers. It's the WHOLE TOWN.


Tastes like burning. KABOOM!

I don't want to spoil anyone's fun by telling them they can't hate on people. Do what you do. Choose your choice. We're all guilty.

But for Goddamn's sake. Sometimes it goes a little far.

Now if you'll excuse me.

THINGS I'M HATING ON:

1. HATING. I do it. We all do it. It just makes me sick to see how negative everyone has gotten.

2. WAL-MART SUPERCENTER. The crappiest place on earth. I didn't know people like this existed in Missoula because I've been in my little downtown microcosm but I pretty much ran out of there. Buy! Sell! Buy! Sell! Faded Glory! Rollbacks! Sunburns and eight screaming children trailing behind your giant plastic racecar cart! It smells like friend chicken and horse shit in there. Like this guy:


3. ROACHES. Put that shit in a pipe, man. I'm burning my lips.

4. PEOPLE WHO HATE ON TATTOOS EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE THEM. Gotcha! No but really. I do this for a living so naturally I am biased. But they choose their choice and it doesn't make the ones you have any less special. And I'll put more on you anytime.

5. VINYL THAT DOESN'T COME WITH AN MP3 DOWNLOAD. Because I don't want to buy it twice. But it's 1 out of 10 that has it so it's sort of a crapshoot.

And has anyone heard that song Divine by Sebastian Tellier? I think I'm in love.

An Open Letter

Dear Muffy,

Let me preface this by saying that I know you're rocking that whole masculine vibe. I get that. You should know that I am, too, except that I have the penis to back it up.

The purpose of this letter is to ask that you refrain, in the future, from attempting to undermine my knowledge regarding all things home improvement and construction. You may have forgotten that I spent a healthy ten years helping my father improve the structural, plumbing, heating, and electrical features of two separate houses. Not to mention the three additional years of learning spent assisting two designers on numerous design and carpentry projects.  And while I don't discount any experience you may have in these fields, I know my shit.

It may be a shortcoming of my own, but when you try to tell me that a load bearing beam could be replaced with ease because it is a simple 4" x 4" post, I'm not going to be able to correct you in an accommodating manner. Firstly, replacing a load bearing ceiling beam is never easy. Secondly, there is not a brain dead, redneck, asshole of a contractor in this world who would use a simple fencing post as a critically important structural support. Thirdly, when I inform you that a two foot section of the existing 4" x 8" beam has rotted due to the consistent water leak that has been ignored for God knows how long, please don't suggest patching the interior leak as a long term solution. Especially when said beam is directly above the primary seating area. I don't want to die quite yet. How about instead, when I suggest that the real issue to address is the leak on the roof and replacing the beam, you nod in consent? That would be great.

Thank you for your time and understanding.

Graciously yours,

Lil Bob Vila

Things I'm Hating On

1) Tattoos

Don't get me wrong, I like tattoos. Or rather, I like well placed, well done tattoos. Unfortunately, every idiot is slapping Honda logos, tribal bands, Kanji, and Old English text willy-nilly all over their body. The art form has been lost. The self-expression has been raped. What is the significance? What is the point? You suck.

2) "Fabulous"

I admittedly have a bit of a dark past. There was a time (I try not to remember) when I was... let's just say I was a bit of a fixture in the "gay" scene. The result of this was a lot of enemies as I don't exactly make a secret of my distaste for The Gays. Alas, in some haze of exhaustion, I found the word "fabulous" spilling out of my mouth and immediately had the urge to give myself tiny cuts on my legs. I cringe even when women use the word. Imagine my dismay. Do it.

3) The Gays

Oh yeah, and lesbians.

4) The End of Summer

I honestly didn't think I would be saying this. Granted, there is no way that you will catch me prancing around proclaiming this as "Best Summer Ever(!)" But I have had a lot of fun, despite the very best efforts of this world. With the end of summer comes the departure of friends, the start of a new semester, and a resounding focus on everything I'm not doing in my life. It's time for this little pony to buck up.

This is Not Rock N Roll?

Gary Glitter was released from his 3 year stint in Vietnamese prison today. Apparently, molesting 10-11 year olds is only worth a slap on the wrist on the Indochina Peninsula. To be fair, his defense argument was incredibly persuasive... From an article dated March 3, 2006:

Gary Glitter Sentenced To 3 Years
After Child Molestation Trial In Vietnam, 70s Rock Star Shouts 'I'm Innocent'


(AP)A Vietnamese court on Friday sentenced former British glam rocker Gary Glitter to three years in prison for molesting two Vietnamese girls, with the judge condemning him for "disgusting and sick" behavior.

Glitter, 61, was found guilty of committing obscene acts with two girls, ages 10 and 11, at his rented seaside villa in southern Vung Tau last year.

The former rock star showed no emotion while the verdict was read but threw the court into disarray by proclaiming his innocence afterward.

"Every girl and boy needs a little joy," shout Glitter (whose real name is Paul Francis Gadd), "All they did was sit and stare, and I was all beggin on my knees, 'Babies, won't you please run your fingers through my hair?' Then I asked, 'Do you wanna touch me there?' And she said, 'Dâu?' And I said, 'There.' And the other one said, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah.' So, you see, it was consensual. Uh... how do you say it? Liên ứng"

Glitter, who had faced up to seven years in prison, was given the minimum sentence of three by the court. The judge later explained that among the factors contributing to the lighter sentence was the $2,000 each that Glitter paid to each girl's family as "compensation" in December.

The saddest part is, if I were a ten year old girl and some guy dressed like Jem asked me to come over to his villa, I would probably have gone as well... I mean, that would be a serious mix of action/adventure, drama, music, and fashion.

Oh, and vaginal tearing. Don't forget that: that hymenal ripping is the best part.

stocking stuffers!

this would be my first post, wouldn't it? what a janky bitch.

speaking of janky bitches in what universe would someone name something the "tiddy bear" and also what the fuck does that have to do with seat belts?

go get some of mommy's special kool-aid in the tiny glasses with the lime because shit's goin' crazy. 

Beating Out Our Competition.

Markley failed to mention the naked ladies on Hipster Runoff. If we're going to compete with HR, we're going to need naked ladies. I'm going to fix that now.

[Editor's note: Due to the original graphic content of this post, it has been edited to ensure the the moral accountability of the co-authors of this blog. Good job, Dallas. Way to make us look skeezy.]


Also, because she has tribal tattoos and is on a beach (presumably someplace exotic), I think (technically) we're now encroaching on National Geographic territory. Which, one could argue, was already our competition, seeing as how URFCKD and NG both are both (sort-of) anthropological in nature. (There is an awesome Venn Diagram to be had in all of this, but I'm so lazy.)

Just covering our bases.

Why Don't I Live Here Anymore?

Cause my mind is in Hotlanta. My body is just a technicality. I mean seriously who gives a fuck about this town. (i'm a few beers in so it may get weird) I like the town, a lot. But its certain elements in it that really get under my skin ie Glimmer Douche Bagery. I'm calling a war against the Douche Bags Cokeheads. And I instigate our gang, The Hate Gang or The League of Haters and Super Scientists or whatever. Its simple, "cause burn down bridges."-Eric. I would never usually fall to this level but...BUT I'm sick of this mickey mouse bull shit. You decide your own level of involvement. Sorry and thank you for reading. This tony signing offf

Ps: You're so tall. Do you play ba-sket-ball

why this blog isn't hipster enough.

We will never be as cool as hipster runoff, unless we have more cool photos on our blog.  Nobody reads anymore.  Not more than a sentence fragment at a time.  

So let's scour the internet for pictures of ridiculous hipsters, fat americans and funny pictures of US goverment officials.  Then we can be famous.......

yeah.  here's the winner for today.

can't we elect a president based on good musical taste?

Blender took the time to ask both presidential candidates the real issue at stake, what music ought we vote to hear blaring on the White House lawn.......

Below are Obama and McCain's answers (with a bit of commentary).

John McCain's Top Ten

1. 'Dancing Queen' ABBA   

the thought of his dancing to ABBA is disgusting...

2. 'Blue Bayou' Roy Orbison

ok well he may not be completely out of touch, but more like uncle you never let touch the stereo...

3. 'Take a Chance On Me' ABBA

is he not creative? come on, ABBA twice in the top 10? this is either showing senility or complete delusion.  this ought to prove he is not fit for any political office, even the one he currently holds.

4. 'If We Make It Through December' Merle Haggard

my thoughts exactly.  

5. 'As Time Goes By' Dooley Wilson

dooley wilson was born in 1886.  need i say more about how out of touch McCain is?

6. 'Good Vibrations' The Beach Boys

The only song John McCain and I can agree on.  I guess that renders the mixtape I was making him kind of like a Beach Boys greatest hits album.

7. 'What A Wonderful World' Louis Armstrong

Fucking for real.  Everyone loves this song.  So ubiquitous that I can't understand anyone having any feeling about this song what so ever.  Unless its Joey Ramone's version.  Then it makes me cry. 

8. 'I've Got You Under My Skin' Frank Sinatra

I think he imagines everyone in the US singing this song to him when he wins the election.  Although that seems too dark to even think about.

9. 'Sweet Caroline' Neil Diamond

I hate Neil Diamond with a passion, so I cannot even comment on his number 9 pick.

10. 'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes' The Platters

I think he might of stopped listening to music in the mid-60s. Someone should really ask him a hard hitting question like that.

Barack Obama's Top Ten

1. 'Ready or Not' Fugees

ok, so this kind of reminds me of an ex-girlfriend.  but she was a rad ex-friend and went to art school in NYC.  so fine with me. positive memories.

2. 'What's Going On' Marvin Gaye

Classic track.  I mean music critics generally freaks out over his work.  So maybe a bit of a safe choice, but at least Obama can acknowledge good music when he hears it.

3. 'I'm On Fire' Bruce Springsteen

Blue Collar Music.  I sense that Obama may have rigged this list as a subtle political campaign to reach out to voters he needs to win the election.  Though nobody can fuck with the Boss, so maybe not.

4. 'Gimme Shelter' Rolling Stones

So he's not a Beatles guy, he's a Stones fan.  That was the first question I would ask him, if I were to interview him for our blog.

5. 'Sinnerman' Nina Simone

This might suggest some hidden facet of his past.  But he already admitted to doing cocaine in high school.  Maybe he wants people to know he's atoned for his past mistakes.  Maybe some of my friends out to listen to this track.

6. 'Touch the Sky' Kanye West

Kayne plays the Inauguration ceremony.  I like the sound of that.

7. 'You'd Be So Easy to Love' Frank Sinatra

Why is Frank Sinatra rated higher than Aretha Franklin?  Silliness.  At least Marvin Gaye beat him out in the top 10.  But why is it necessary to keep giving Frank SInatra such a prominent place in our culture? I'd as soon be done with the guy.

8. 'Think' Aretha Franklin

Finally a presidential candidate with soul.  Why have we waited so long?

9. 'City of Blinding Lights' U2

Bono has better politics than music, so this choice is confusing to me.  But if him and Obama are on the same side, they might finally solve some of the world's biggest problems, like poverty and hunger.

10. 'Yes We Can' Will.i.am

The Black Eyed Peas playing a set on the White House lawn would be awesome as well.  

Obama is keeping up with music even though he's a busy man.  He knows hip hop, older standards, soul, new wave and probably about your band.  I know that sounds crazy, but Obama wants to keep up with whats going down all around the world, and in all areas. He's keeping up on the war in Georgia while he's reading Pitchfork.  I mean who wouldn't vote for this guy.

Unless of course you like ABBA.

hipsters....

read the adbusters' article linked below ...

http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html

i would write more but this might say it all.......

(also this is why i chose the name dead hipster for my music promoting co-op.....the whole thing was supposed to be a joke......)

Full Story at 11.

So, the top story on CNN.com this afternoon is about Utah's decision to move their state workers to a four-day work week. Yay! All of those women now get to spend Fridays with their kids! Second billing goes to an article about cheating spouses, cleverly titled "Spouses Caught Cheating" (perhaps in response to Jamie Lynn Spears' fiance cheating on her while she was pregnant, as I learned of today.) HilRodClint gets her name placed into nomination at convention, for whatever that's worth. And some Rice student was arrested in Berkeley for disappearing/assuming a false identity. Stuff about Georgia, someone got shot, suicide bombers in Iraq, etc., etc., so on and so forth.

In other news, Amy Winehouse's dad is fucking pissed off that some one spiked her drink with ecstasy, resulting in a trip (ha) to the hospital. ScarJo kissed Penelope Cruz, which sounded like it would be fairly exciting, until I realized that it was for Woody Allen's new project "Vicky Christina Barcelona." Julia Fucking Child used to be a spy for the US, which just seems unfair. Ali Lohan may or may not have had a boob job.

Oh, and apparently Christian Bale assaulted his mother and sister in some hotel before the European premiere of "The Dark Knight." So that's what they call a family: Mother, daughter, father, son. Guess everything you heard about is true.

The ocean's "dead zones" are doubling. There're problems with the iPhone. Bigfoot was caught. Again. Some insects breathe underwater by carrying their own air-bubble, thus thereby eliminating the need to come up for air.

And "researchers claim that women start their adult lives happier than men, but from the age of 48 onwards are more glum." Which gives me something to look forward to, I guess. Apparently, the other contributers to this blog might "tend to be unfulfilled during their 20s, both financially and in their family lives, which makes them miserable. But by middle age, men have fulfilled their financial and family life goals and have cheered up." Whereas women just get sadder and sadder. Except, perhaps, those women in Utah who now get three-day weekends...

Remind me again why anyone reads the news?

Hearts & Butterflies... oh and Cigarettes Too

Its time to go to work. Another night of peddling the news to 3 or 4 viewers in the Garden City. I don't even like TV, but I work in it? It doesn't pay very well, but I do exercise a little creativity and the work is SUPER easy, especially if you're a SUPER scientist. At least I have the option to broadcast my suicide note LIVE to the public over the airwaves, which I'm not planning on doing anytime soon, but at least I'm in the position. Its comforting to know you can say "Good By Cruel World" to 3 or 4 people. Even if 3/4 of them are old enough to be sitting in their own shit. I need a vacation (fall over) vomit bla  

well at least we're not in georgia....

....the former Soviet state.  I would rather be in the home state of Hotlanta and Athens.  But definitely not Georgia, that pesky lil ex-Communist state that refuses to be bullied around.   I mean its bad enough here as it is.  Who would want to add Russian tanks to your list of concerns, like not enough money, boring jobs and inconsiderate friends.  I mean what if you were just going about your day in Tbilisi or Gori walking down the street to get some lunch, and your favorite burrito place was a bombed out hole in the ground.  Fuck that.  

So although things aren't perfect in Montana, at least we don't have the Russians trying to steal our natural resources.  And that gives me at least enough comfort to wonder out of my apartment today.

Speaking of Mothers...

... here's the conversation I just had with mine.

* * * * *

My Mom: "I can barely hear you. Where are you?"
Me: "The Ox."
My Mom: "The what? Is that that sandwich place with the cans?"
Me: "No, mom. The Ox. It's a bar-restaurant thing. Like a greasy spoon."
My Mom: "Oh, for gosh sake, what are you doing in a place like that?"

(Pause)

Me (thinking, "I need food and a cigarette and wireless."): "I don't know... Everything else made me want to vomit in my mouth. I was craving a BLT and fries."
My Mom: "So, you were craving a BLT?"
Me: "Yes. It's been a long week."
My Mom: "Craving?"
Me: "Yes, mom: craving. Comfort food."
My Mom: "Are you pregnant?"
Me: "Oh god, I hope not. That would just top off this whole freakin' summer, wouldn't it?"
My Mom: "Wait... Is that a possibility?"
Me: (In the same voice I use when she asks if I'm taking my vitamins): "No mom."
My Mom: "Are you going to church?"

(Later...)

My Mom: "Well, if that's the attitude you're sending out into the universe, then of course life is going to suck."
Me: "I don't know. It's not just me. I think most of Missoula's having a hard run right now."
My Mom: "Well, you should lend your friends that book I gave you."
Me: "Yeah mom. I'll get on that."
My Mom: "I'm serious."
Me: "I know. I'll post it on our website right now."
My Mom: "You have a website? Where is it?"
Me: "Dubya dubya dubya dot the secret dot com."
My Mom: "Ha. Ha. Ha."

* * * * *

Consider yerselves told.

Fuck This Year.

Seriously. Fuck it. I swear that if one more goddamn terrible thing happens I might not make it.

you know you're in montana when....(part 2)

when political correctness is so absent or so twisted.  i'm trying to figure what makes certain things right in montana.  apparently i'm just now figuring it out.......  

here, apparently i can call someone a faggot or queer, if i know some who is gay or lesbian.  that makes it alright. if i can determine so and so is gay, and i can label him so.  fags don't mind being called fags, right?

i can call someone retarded as long as i know someone who is retarded.  

you can use hateful word as long as they are directed at the group they describe.

"man sorry i called you queer, i know you're not gay.  i was just mad."

hateful speech is ok if you're angry and if you call some gay or retarded if they are indeed gay or retarded.....you must apologize if they're not, but only after an excruciating questioning period with lots of yelling determines they are not gay or retarded.....  

hateful speech can always be forgiven.  it can always be taken back.  and if in doubt i guess in montana you can use the worst stereotypical aphorisms and nicknames you want, until someone calls you out.  which most likely they won't....

so do these guidelines help?

no.

is there any love in this state?

no.

is being anything but white christian and heterosexual cool?

no.

i guess that means fucking say what you want, cause this is montana, the fucking backbone of america.......and if you don't love this country, you're gay..............

who cares if people think you're small minded........?

Down and Out in Missoula, MT.

I'm doing it.

I'm going to give all my worldly possessions away and go with the 'living on a street corner' plan. I'm going to get a scrappy looking labradoodle, which I will name 'Boris.' I will occasionally ramble on about my friends, an Irish tramp named Paddy and a pavement artist named Bozo, who are actually mosquitos. I will dread my hair, and start smoking found cigar butts, and wearing fedoras.I will build statues out my own excrement. I will purposely slur my speech and speak in broken French when dealing with The Law. I will get a detailed map of the alleys of Missoula tattooed on the insides of my thighs, so I will always be able to find a cozy dumpster to seek refuge from the elements in. I will steal a shopping cart and push around my blankets, all day, every day, and I will call the shopping cart 'Hotel X.' I will have a cast iron pan for no apparent reason, and will talk to myself about communism and socialism, and develop a twitch. I will tell every man I see that he reminds me of my brother Chad, and tell Jennys (Jennies?) about my 'salad days,' right before I ask for cigarettes and change and sandwiches. I will be that disguised-as-a-rock homeless person under the Higgins Bridge.



Or, I'll just go with my original plan of getting 'Life is Absurd' tattooed across my forehead.

A Brief Synopsis of The Events That Came To Pass Friday Night Involving Myself and My Dear Friends, The H. Nation:

"Faggots."

The Top 5 Things to Avoid in Missoula

5. Hippies, fucking hippies (every-fucking-where).

4. Chads and Jennifers (and those who pretend they aren't).

3. Russell Street between the hours of 7am-9pm.

2. Specific people (come on you know the people I'm talking about).

1. Thursdays at the Badlander (where at least 2 of the above listed items are bound to be).

hatehatehatehatehate.

you know you're in montana when....(part 1)

....when the only thing you sell in a record shop is marijuana pipes and dollar cassette tapes.

....when the biggest dance night in town has to lower itself to playing eddie money and bryan adams remixes.

....your salad automatically comes with ranch dressing if you don't specify otherwise.

Early Onset Dementia.

This house is haunted. Or perhaps it's just sitting atop a psychic hotspot, or maybe Missoula is some sort of inter-dimensional portal, or a Hellmouth. (Or maybe I've just been watching too much "Angel.")

Regardless, this house has taken to fucking with its residents.

I present Jared's complete loss of sanity as "Exhibit A." Beyond that, Ryan's been hearing voices and seeing imaginary cats. And I keep waking up vertiginous, severely disoriented.

On the 4th of July, for instance, I woke up on the couch with the impression that I'd been locked in the condemned house down the street. But I did know I was in Missoula. And I knew my name.

Last night, though, I woke up struggling to hang on to the bed which kept trying to tip me off, while somehow feeling as if I had been buried alive, and baffled as to where and who I was. After remembering my name, I spent a couple of minutes trying to figure out what country or state I was in ("My bed is full sand, so I must be somewhere near a beach... Am I in Australia? Maybe I'm back in Texas?"), which led me to try and figure out what year it was ("How old am I? If I'm in Australia, I'm 12, so it's... 1996? 1997?"), the time of day, etc. Finally, I decided I was in Missoula, but where in Missoula I might be was still pretty hazy...

Eventually, I cleared up the mess that was my head. But I've been stumbling through the day feeling as if I've totally lost my bearings.

I don't like it.

I wonder if this is what Alzheimer's or senility feels like?

A Little More Gratuitous Nostalgia.

Continuing the "Things I've Saved" theme... Originally posted on Myspace, Friday, December 07, 2007, 2:48 AM:

"Every now and then, I become aware of it, and think, (gesturing toward left breast) 'Oh yeah; that's the hole where I keep my misery.'"
-Ben Rounder

 (sic)

"You know, my heart is like a really quiet third roommate. It doesn't talk, but it eats all my food and likes the Nintendo, and every now and then it's a pain in the ass." 

-Ben Rounder (sic)


"I'm a love agnostic, which is to say: I can't prove that it exists and neither can you. I mean, I'm not going to say there isn't love, or that there is love, and I'm not going to tell you how you should feel about it, but I am going to go about my life as if there isn't, and not worry about it too much."

-Ben Rounder

 (sic)

"We haven't kissed."

"Yeah, we have."

"What? No." 

"Yeah. Spin the Bottle?" 

"OH MY GOD! We have! We've like, really kissed! (Pause) You know, I didn't really like the whole 'tripod' kissing idea."

-Pete Tolton and I



"How is an Iraqi like a large pizza?" 

-Random guy at the Ox last night (I didn't hear the end of the joke.)

Too close to home?

Via men.style.com:

"Congratulations, America: Even as our currency continues to falter, it takes home top honors in at least one category—having the highest amounts of trace cocaine of any bills on the planet..."

It's time for something new.